St. John Chrysostom provides for us a helpful reflection during this Memorial Day:
“But I don’t know where [my departed one] has gone,” you say. Why do you not know—tell me? For according to as he lived (well or otherwise), it is evident where he will go. “No, on this very account I lament,” you say, “because he departed being a sinner.” This is a mere pretext and excuse. For if this were the reason of your mourning for the departed, you ought to have formed and corrected him, when he was alive. The fact is you look everywhere to what concerns yourself, not him.
But grant that he departed with sin upon him, even on this account one ought to rejoice, that he was stopped short in his sins and added not to his iniquity; and help him as far as possible, not by tears, but by prayers and supplications and alms and offerings. For not unmeaningly have these things been devised, nor do we in vain make mention of the departed in the course of the divine mysteries, and approach God in their behalf, beseeching the lamb who is before us, who takes away the sin of the world—not in vain, but that some refreshment from these things might go to them. Not in vain does he that stands by the altar cry out when the tremendous mysteries are celebrated, “For all that have fallen asleep in Christ, and for those who perform commemorations in their behalf.” For if there were no commemorations for them, these things would not be said at the liturgy: since our service is not a mere stage show, God forbid! Yes, it is by the command of the Spirit that these things are done.
Let us then give them aid and perform commemoration for them. For if the children of Job were purged by the sacrifice of their father, why do you doubt that when we too offer for the departed, some consolation arises to them? Since God is quick to grant the petitions of those who ask for others. And this Paul signified, saying that in a manifold person your gift toward us bestowed by many may be acknowledged with thanksgiving on your behalf. Let us not, then, grow weary in giving aid to the departed, both by offering on their behalf and by praying for them: for the common atonement for the whole world is here with us.
Therefore, with boldness we then offer petition for the whole world, and name their names with those of martyrs, of confessors, of priests. For in truth one body are we all, though some members are more glorious than others; and it is possible from every source to gather pardon for them, from our prayers, from our gifts in their behalf, and from those whose names are named with theirs. Why, then, do you grieve? Why mourn, when it is in your power to gather so much pardon for the departed?”